Monday, November 17, 2008

The Biggest Fight I Ever Had

Well actually I'm still having it--this fight between the novel and me. All this morning on the bus listening to songs that filled the space around my head, I was fighting. Fighting with the idea of putting my fingers on the keyboard to type. This story inside me is fighting to get out, but I continue to think/say/feel--I can't let 'you' out. Like a spirit child that travels from generation to generation trying to be born, this novel is trying to get out of me, but I won't let it.

Maybe it's fear of failing or succeeding or not getting past the first page. Maybe it's the idea of breaking the lazy pattern my life has grown accustomed to. Maybe it's something I haven't thought of yet.

Whatever it is I know the story inside of me won't rest until it's out (damn you spirit of storytelling--you're like a hog weighing on my back, but I love you--you're like a needle in a haystack I can't find, but I need you--you're like a cute man with a cocked-eye, but I can't stop looking at you--you're like everything in this world that I need, love, want but I misuse you so.)

15 comments:

Diana said...

Hee hee hee.

You don't have a choice.

Yer gonna write a NOVEL!!!

(No toldjaso from me.)

xoxoxoxox!

Slee said...

Let it out Nettie. Let the caged bird fly free...thank me in your acknowledgments page...

Unknown said...

Come home. Come home to the novel-A
This is where you belong, in the world of the Novel-A

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