First off, let me say that I don't like watermelon-- its texture and consistency just doesn't work for me. Second, let me say that the previous statement or declaration (which ever works for you) has nothing to do with why I'm writing. I'm writing because I've turned into a bitter old lady in the last month. Maybe that previous sentence might be stretching my condition, but really I've morphed into the biggest crab-cake on this side of heaven. Maybe I'm just going through the motions of being anxious and jobless. Maybe I'm tired of these famous lines, "Something's going to happen--you'll get a job--it's only been a month--can't your mother take care of you--and--keep the faith." Even though I know these things were said out of love, it seems like I'm still being a bitch when I hear them because as much as I would like this to not be so: bill collectors could give two shits about my present situation. It's just so frustrating. I think this is the most frustrated I've probably ever been. And some may be a little bit "over" my whining, but I just can't stop complaining how sucky this is.
Okay, I didn't spill my guts so I can get comments or calls that will tell me everything will be "okay." I just want authentic understanding minus any consolations that may include the famous lines.
Even though I rather keep things bury inside--to myself--I feel like I should say something because when I'm my regular smiley-self, people might think that everything is alright.
On Being a Bitch, okay I'm not saying that everyday I'm this way, but I have my days. It's not something that's even like me because I like to think that I'm fairly easy going. I have tried to think positive, be happy, and other things but when I get e-mails like "we regret to inform you ..." it's like seriously who's playing this sick joke on me. So yeah, I'm trying to be better most days.
_______
Isn't life grand.
Listening to: The sound of cars zoom down the street.
2 comments:
Can I just say that I'm terrified of having to get a job when I graduate? I'm not envious of you in the least--except for the part about you being done with this program and Mankato. In fact, the matter of you (who is at least 10 times more talented than I am) being jobless makes me even more worried. I'm applying to PhD programs as a Plan B for if I can't find a decent job, but they're slowly becoming Plan A as a means of putting off finding a job for another few years.
Rejection blows.
On a side note, watermelon is probably my favorite fruit. It's almost totally water and sugar, which makes it almost not a fruit at all, but more like candy. And you can spit the seeds at people.
You can do it...silver lining...darkest before dawn...www.motivationalquotes.com...eyc.
:P
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